deployment update

Well….

 it looks like if I get deployed which right now I am the only person out of 30 people that actually qualifies. There’s people trying to get all their shit together to go but I think it still puts me ahead since I am the first ready corpsman. Even scarier is we have this roster of when you are going to be rotating out of Family Practice and my name is highlight so I scrolled down and orange highlight means deploying. On top of that its only my name highlighted.  No one has told me for sure that I am deploying so I’m freaking out am I deploying Am I not? what am I suppose to do about my wedding. Where the fuck am I getting deployed to and for how long. Simple questions that I wont know until the day they come and say you’re being deployed in two days pack up or they can even tell me you have 4 hours then you are deploying. How! Me being brand new to the navy only 2 months of being an actual corpsman do I qualify? I can’t do anything just yet. I mean I can take your vitals, stand in on paps, do breast exams  blah blah basic stuff but save someone life. I don’t want to mess with that just yet. I feel like I would be so clueless on what to do on the battlefield. I was told ( who knows if its true) that i’ll receive training but I havn’t even done TCCC. Which I heard is awful and not fun at all. To me getting water dumped on me and sand thrown in my face trying to put a tourniquet on a bleeding out dummy is nerve wrecking. Im dreading for March to come where I have to do that. I just don’t want to fail. Don’t get me wrong I’d like to deploy just not right now. I’m suppose to be getting married in May, the deployment takes off in April and I would like some more experience under my belt. On the plus side if I did go I bet I would learn a lot.  I just have some mixed feelings right now about it all and overall I’m shocked that baby E-3 me, less than a year in is deploying. 

alright I’m done.